I was in the middle of my second term, of my second year, of my Honours Bachelor Behavioural Science degree when the lovely April Rose Gabrielli slipped a little music into my DM’s. The moment I hit play, I was completely hooked on Awakening Autumn’s, Break My Teeth, so much so that my very first review of Data Girl’s Rabbit Hole (which will be a bit more consistent, now that I have completed my academic year.) said: “When I heard the first lyric, I started to think of the Tell Tale Heart and the undeniable beat of a heart that is undergoing a profound journey. I feel such intentionality of notes when I listen to Break My Teeth in unison with the lyrics. There is a presence of a beat that is very prominent throughout, I am trying to find the words for the bridge; it is as though one is walking through a meadow, induced tranquility. There is an exquisite push/pull that occurs in this piece, the lyrics are not exactly easy in terms of emotion, there is a myriad of expressed fear intertwined with bravery and immense resilience. A dichotomy of the connection of individuals, so into each other with an imprinted profound impact. I am actually genuinely enjoying this piece, the contrast of an elegant melody paired with heavy themed lyrics about a loved one, the most powerful of elements in the world. I think what hooked me the most is the last set of lyrics.
BREAK MY TEETH
(Verse)
Underneath my floor
A couple thousand miles
You can watch the sunset
While I watch it rise
You say your home is hell
So now I catch myself
Sinning just to feel a little closer
To you, oh
(Pre-chorus)
My curses turn to blessings
When you share them with me
I'm sitting on the roof
To see the same sky you see
(Chorus)
I'm scared of life
I'm scared to die
I'm scared that I'm
Not enough, I've
Been kissing curbs
Dreaming it's her
Every night
And if I break my teeth
I won't regret a thing
And when you're sleeping, honey
I'm the one who's really dreaming.
(Verse)
I'll walk the seabed, or
I will learn to fly
I could follow the sun cause
If you asked, I'd try, oh
And I would cast a spell
Or I'd drown in the well
Wishing just to be a little closer
To you, oh
(Pre-chorus)
My nightmares get less scary
When you ask how I sleep
Taking pictures of the lake
For you on pelican street
(Chorus)
I'm scared of life
I'm scared to die
I'm scared I'm
Not enough, I've
Been kissing curbs
Dreaming it's her
Every night
And if I break my teeth
I won't regret a thing
And when you say you hate me
I know what you're really thinking
(Instrumental)
(Bridge/pre-chorus)
My love has crossed oceans
That I've never even seen
And every mountain, city,
And timezone in between
(Final chorus)
I'm scared of life
I'm scared you might
Decide it's
Just a waste of time
And I bit the curb
Because you're worth
The pain and fight
But I'd let you break my teeth
If it got you close to me
And when I'm bleeding, honey
I'll be glad you even touched me
I just can’t, I want to know more about this song? I want to know what the origin story is that breathed life into this piece? (Watts, 2023)
After that, I interviewed McKade from Awakening Autumn which you can read here once you have finished my full EP review of Typing... Now, that being said, upon the discovery of a full EP being released on April 28 excited me on so many levels, especially because I had already listened to a few Awakening Autumn songs that completely hooked me. Actually, in a manner of the slightest grab on a large wool sweater that unknots every single knitted purl stitch. You know what occurs the moment that happens, the hook is still there with the original wool thread and the sweater once worn, has nearly undone to the last stitch on the collar. Just picture that for a moment, listening to one song, then the next, and the poor sweater annihilated all for the love of music. A spider’s web of immense mastery, which is what I would call Awakening Autumn’s Typing... it is truly emotion overload in the best possible way.
Now, are you ready? Ok, kindly click this link and enjoy the journey while my unraveled sweater manifests into a full blown review of Typing... Before I begin, I wanted to say, now after listening to Autumn like 100 times, I kid you not that is the process of my reviews – I take a deep breath and allow myself to dive in the music and of course the lyrics; which is why I wanted to scribe this initial aside in the first place, when you listen to Typing... You are going to be engrossed in an album that offers with it not diversity with the lyrics. You will also find this delectable synergy that is awakened (I know cheesy to you the word in any iteration of “awake”; in this instance it must take a solid stand as it is the generic truth. The sleeping spirit inside of all of us, that needs that jolt to wake the hell up – that is the emotion that is expressed throughout these 10 Songs: Heart Shaped Noose, Break my teeth, My Insecticide, Lunar, Brittle, Ocean, Ghost stories, Tough luck, Halloween, and Typing...
Heart Shaped Noose begins with the eeriest of melodies that manifests a steady beat, I am fond of intros to songs, it offers the pace right of the bat, Awakening Autumn would like for us to be engrossed in. Heart Shaped Noose had me thinking about the concept within humanity that looks at another human being after a sense of immense trepidation has occurred. I will be the first to admit that I am a very sappy human being who believes in soulmates and love. As much as I relish the beat of this song, the instrumentation is genuinely fabulous with an infinite amount of nuances, sounds that come in and go through at the piece, with immense purpose and strength. My soul moves right to the lyrics, I think it is the poet it me and Awakening Autumn has hooked me again with lyrics. I know that I have just begun this review however, I hypothesise I will use that statement may times throughout this review. This song offers a safe sense of self before diving in.
HEART SHAPED NOOSE
Pretty pity party
Pull up on her Harley
Cigarettes and Molly
Asking you to call me
She said "If the world was ending
Would you go to bed early
Or watch the shooting stars meet
With the soil and the concrete?"
Looking at the skyline
Watching satellites
Tell me what your mom's like
Then we're running from the sunrise
Told you about my worst nights
And seeing her in bright lights
Told me that you lost faith
Seeing bishops in the bank
Mountains with the car parked
Couldn't make the car start
Laughing til it got dark
Asking strangers for a Jumpstart
I know that it's a long drive
You told me that you don't mind
At the end of the night
Kissed goodbye like 12 times
Putting down the car seats
Every time that we meet
Raindrops on a cracked street
Finally fucking feel seen
Huddled to a phone screen
Overdoing nicotine
We were barely 18
Some day turned to daily
Split Dye, spinning my mind
Keeping me in your sight
Never heard a goodnight
And never saw your closed eyes
Until the day you said you loved me
And put a noose around your lovely
Neck and began asking
"Darling, do you love me?"
Immediately, butterflies, sigh, my totem animal! Ok, now, I am vibing to the beat, there is an emphasized sound every other beat that completely enhances the track. It could almost be that of a pulse of a human heart, but more if a human were a top and spun around quickly yet maintained this steady control second or fourth beat of the bars. I have been sitting here for about 13 minutes trying to figure out a solid comparison a metaphor, and all of a sudden – BOOM! true slap to the face, there is almost a hypnotic feel to My Insecticide. Then I hear the lyrics “Made me dizzy Like the cracks In my skull”. You know the emotion that is evoked when you meet someone who enters your life and could say any sentence or any word to render the other just dizzy beyond recognition. It’s remarkable how many individuals don’t allow others to see them through an intimate lens. Barriers to love, comprehension of compassion, and walking over glass for another.
MY INSECTICIDE:
(Verse)
Catch me like a butterfly, baby
But don't set me free
And kiss me like it's keeping you breathing
The way it is for me
Then you,
Leashed like a dog before leaving
And keep me there for weeks
When you came back, pretend that you saved me
I'll let it all repeat
(Chorus)
Counting tears in my wings
And pretending
That it's why
I can't leave
Oh my God I'm
Tied to your tree
But it only seems
To be
By a string
(Verse)
I chased you like a ball into the street
And before I could scream
You hit me like a car that's been speeding
Then you ditched the scene
But
Luckily, I think landed rather softly
As I lay and bleed
The sun leaves me be until dawn and
My blood starts to freeze
(Chorus)
The fractures in my bones
Make me weak like
Your smile
On the phone
Oh my God, the
Way that you spoke
Made me dizzy
Like the cracks
In my skull
(Outro/chorus)
I saw you on the fence
Breaking bottles with your lips
I'm a deer in a fucking headlights
Every night you're in my head, like
A razor blade inside
Of every candy that I like
Or the poison in your lipstick
When I'm begging you to kiss me
Mellow, grab a glass of wine and listen. Another trance inducing sound, the impression on the beat is intoxicating it keeps this steady rhythm that opens up at about one minute 18 seconds. I genuinely relish dramatic beats with purpose. It is like the desire that lingers in the lyrics are intertwining with the staff music as they play with each other throughout this composition. The lyrics as throughout the majority of Typing offer a vulnerable resilience that adds another layer of warmth to the entire album. There is such a Romeo and Juliet finality to this piece that sucked me into its orbit. I can image a scene from this movie as a song is playing; A man telling a woman how much he loves her, and the pain of being unable to stare back into her eyes. There is such a poignant echo throughout Lunar and yearns to not only be noticed, also loved, a desperate desire to connect, the music fortifies this thought.
LUNAR
(Intro, Verse)
I want you to see me
The same way I see you
But you can't seem to see through
The lunar eclipses
If you're the sun, I'm the Earth
But all you want is the moon
And all that I do
Is stand in between you
(Pre-chorus)
I want you to notice I'd die for you
Or the stars in my eyes for you
But it's far too bright to look you in the eyes
And you can't stand to look into mine
(Chorus)
It's dark when you follow
The places that I go
The nightmares appear
When im counting sheep
Your presence casts a shadow
So gently in the mirror
And the person staring back
Will never be clear
(Verse)
I want you to need me
The way that I need you
And I'm hoping I see you
More than the ellipsis
Drag my face through the dirt
The only thing I'll learn
Is that im happy you held me
And the pain barely hurts
(Pre-Chorus)
If you listen too close to the songs that I write
Then you'll find that you hide behind every line
I see what's around me, but I still feel blind
To the beautiful things that you describe
(Chorus)
And the rain might hide
The tears I cry
But I'm scared of the thunder
Just like a child
And you seem to hate
Every friend I make
I can't help but wonder
If I'm just the same
(Pre-chorus chords strummed)
And maybe you'll notice if I die for you
Or if the stars in my eyes burn out for good
(Bridge)
If you want the moon so fucking bad
Then burn me to get there
Walk through me like a ghost
And scatter my ashes to the stars
(Chorus)
I want you to follow
But what if you don't know
If the way you feel
Will last forever
And without you here
Even if it hurts
We are two different people
For better or worse
I feel all the songs from this EP however, Brittle offers that extra layer of insulation not only from the perspective of musicality also within the lyrics. There are so many visuals that occupy my mind, Albert Camus’ L’Étranger and the impact from the heat, Girl Interrupted, and Jack and The Cuckoo Clock. I know it sounds like an odd combination; that those three things have no business being placed together however in my twisted oubliette riddled imaginarium it makes complete sense to me. (I hope that I do not sound too Mad Hatter at present). The path to the road of self respect is one that is truly surrounded with thoughts that are at times occupied in fear. It is that little bit of fear that tells us we are on the right track. When the vocals start “We all grow old Am I proud of what I’ll be It feels so cold Alone.” Someone I loved very much once said to me “We are all born scared, crying and alone; what you do with it is up to you.” We are human beings are quite brittle, a desire to be the best we can and being fearless in the face of our dark void.
BRITTLE
If I burn everything
what's left of me
I watched the fire spread
I saw the crumbling
Made me hate winter nights
And the songs that you liked
Frozen like ice
Between the words that you'd write
We all grow old
Am I proud of what I'll be
It feels so cold
Alone
But now I'm 19
And I'm losing time
I'm taking life for granted
Cause I'm too scared to try
So every morning
I'll stare at the clock
And the time, as it's lost
Knowing I'll never stop
I'm underneath the stars
No matter where I stand
I want to be up there
But im scared of where I'll land
We all grow old
Am I proud of what I'll be
It feels so cold
Alone
I'm fueling a fire I know needs to end
But all of my old friends have playing dead
Ghosts and glass hearts, together, we all are
Alone in all the heat
Hello, upbeat rhythm, switch in the mind, engrossed. As I listen to the lyrics, it is quite playful in nature with a pinch of the ability to discover what way is truly the best for you. It is incredible how much of my favourite things is so interwoven within the words of this review at path to resilience and figuring out. Moments of humanity, trying to just figure out a place in a world that is so bloody large and scary – maybe scary is the wrong word how about more intimidating. This song is like a call answer, this person wants so badly to break from the confines of their chains which spills all over this Ocean. There is a call to pursue our own personal call to action exhibited in the final verse. The harmonies were genuinely killer, I noticed another voice, it was non other than Kulick, totally added that extra level of nuanced craftsman ship that we have come to expect from Pear Entertainment. The most intimate relationship that we are going to have on this planet is the one that we will have with ourselves. That sounds so selfish to say reading these lyrics shows me it is not selfish at all.
OCEAN
(Verse)
Waves in the sky
And you're never present
Last leaf on the tree
And scared of the branches
Stuck to the path
It split to three ways
A crack in the glass
The last on the freeway
(Prechorus)
You don't know where I'm going
And neither do I
If you're going to ask
I'm going to lie
(Chorus)
Oh god, the first night that I spent apart from you
I realized that I don't quite know who I am
Anymore
And I'm scared of who is watching
You, or your friends, or your god damn shrink
If I wasn't so weak
I'd run to the ocean
(Verse)
Was it too hard to save
Our "sorry's," for another day
When we're less angry
And not screaming in each others face
And I'm no monster
All I wanted was a little space
And you're not awful
But you never think that you're to blame
Yeah, there's no hiding that
We've both got our toxic traits
It's not lying saying
We fucked up in lots of ways
And it's not fair for you
To tell me that I'll never change
But I wish the best for you
And one day that you'll do the same
(Prechorus)
You don't know where I'm going
I hope it's far
While you're still asleep
I'll be chasing the stars
(Chorus)
Oh god, the first night that I spent apart from you
I realized that I don't quite know who I am
Anymore
And I'm scared of who is watching
You, or your friends, or your god damn shrink
If I wasn't so weak
I'd run to the ocean
(Chorus)
Oh the night that I said that I wish you well
You told me that I have lost myself
And to just go to hell
Then you
Said I'm manic in the making
Like I'd need you to save me
But I'll break free
And I hope you never notice
I will admit, almost halfway through my review again, that I genuinely adore long intros and the ones throughout Typing... are so truly lush. If I were to describe the texture of the intro, I would have to say that it is almost that of a piece of velvet, I want to say black velvet although colour has no texture only depth of tone. Perhaps, black velvet, it is smooth when touched in one direction, gentle in parts, and then when you move your hand in the opposite direction the feel of the pointed notes, and powerful beat for lyric matching for the slight raise of cortisol levels, as I did not expect that at all as I listened. The change from a soft tone to a larger one amplifies the vibe of Ghost Stories. The music is creepy toward the end with a focus of how to proceed during a situation that could potentially be dripping in the potentiality of horrific; with the possibility of being so into another human being, and birth to the depth of their ability to ignore the very essence of who you are.
GHOST STORIES
(Verse)
I'm the candle you'd never blow out
Like I'd die just to be so close to your mouth
Or to have you around, but look at us now
Love dies all the time as a product of doubt
I'm thinking too much and all that I've found
Is the quietest rooms feel the most loud
And my best friends all have something to gain
When I've got nothing to offer, they don't want to play
(Chrous)
You're the ghost story that still haunts me
Missed the days when you'd still want me
The ghost story, come to life
And I see you every time I close my eyes
(Verse)
Dear friends, skeletons hold me with a knife
Hate me in your heart and love me in your mind
Doctor, how will I know when I've died?
I've done it in my dreams, but never in real life
I've never slept enough, I'm always tired
But my pillow brings to light every nightmare
No dream catcher works, when the sun goes down
The holes in the nets let the creatures out
(Chorus)
You're the ghost story that still haunts me
Missed the days when you'd still want me
The ghost story come to life
And I see you every time I close my eyes
The ghost story that still haunts me
A monster I wish had never lost me
You're a ghost that I miss every night
A black star in a sky drawn white
(Bridge)
I can't shake the thought
That everyone's watching
And if it's all inside our heads
Then why isn't it stopping
We're both a little scared
But I don't know if it's real
If you know what's in your head then
Won't you tell me what I feel
(Chorus)
The ghost stories that you brought me
Left a bruise on a heart that won't beat
The darkened end in a tunnel of light
The shadow by my bed, I can't sleep at night
The ghost story that still haunts me
Missed the days when you'd still want me
The ghost story that came to life
And I see you every time I close
Step by step, I remember the first time that I listened to Touch Luck, I was on my way to school and I distinctly felt the offering of two tempos throughout Tough Luck. (It reminds me of one of my favourite songs by April Rose Gabrielli’s, Breaking Both, not in terms of tempo or lyrics but musicality technique.) The beat occupies strength in the best possible way, not sharp in tones with the emotion that it truly does evict from one’s soul. Every single word carefully annunciated with a ridiculous sense of purpose. Further, it reminds me of the idiom “shit happens”, however from a lens of musicality. My favourite part starts at 2:26 minutes go back and listen rewind it, it is as though it is a crescendo everything at ones free for all fest for the ultimate pretzel cluster fuck to one’s mind. I definitely think, pretzel is so the right word here. It is truly captivating.
TOUGH LUCK
All alone
In a walmart parking lot
It's strange to grow up
The world is louder than I thought
I dropped my keys
And a stranger picked them up
But he didn't return them
He just stole my fucking car
As I walk, alone in the dark
I use my phones flash just to see where my feet are
Then you called, a smile lit up my face
Until my phone fucking died and it started to rain
Get fucked
It's just tough luck
It gets hard
When you're dealt shit cards
It's sad
You can't make your own plans
You're stuck right here living
Whatever you're given
The world keeps on hitting
Just roll with the swings, man
What are all of these animals thinking
Am I an easy kill, am I just fresh meat, or
Is my skin just as rotten as I feel
When shock sets in
Am I meant to feel different
Hey, but what's a little rain
You're just a little wet, it hides the tears on your face
But you're scared of the thunder
And being alone
Get home
Barely breathing, and it's locked
My phones still fucking dead and
It's already 3 o'clock
Deep breath
Smash my window with a rock
Then I tried to call you back
But my numbers blocked
I read the text that you left when I was out
Where you told me all about this
Perfect life you that you'd found
You tried to help me up but I was only going down
You didn't want to be there just to watch me hit the ground
Get fucked
It's just tough luck
It gets hard
When you're dealt shit cards
It's sad
You can't make your own plans
You're stuck right here living
Whatever you're given
The world keeps on hitting
Just roll with the swings, man
I just hope that the end
Of the world is swift
None of that slow burn
Global warming bullshit
I want a meteor
To crash right into your house
With a blast radius
That kills everybody else, too
But you were first
Which reminds me of the time
That you were the most
beautiful part of my life
But then I said too much
And it all went south
And I didn't really care for
Anybody else
Fuck
It's just tough luck, it
Gets hard
When you're dealt shit cards
It's sad
You can't make your own plans
You're stuck right here living
Whatever you're given
The world keeps on hitting
Just roll with the swings, man
You're alone and afraid
If you make it out of this place
Remember your name
Remember the music and
All that it's doing
The world keeps on hitting
Just roll with the swings man
Halloween is one of the most whimsical times of the year, in a most scary kind of way. I never thought of Halloween being romantic, as I listen to Halloween, I think other wise. It almost seems like one of those Cinderella stories with a headless horseman kind of turn. It is almost a mellow frenetic vibe, that pairs with the thought of coming to terms as a human exits stage left from one’s life. What they would have said to another human before the line was drawn into the sand and things became too late. A lyric induced just entered my mind, a childhood crush, now 13, and knocking on a door all made up hoping that the person of desire would answer the door. Sometimes that level of static, emotional static, nothing to do with the musicality; brings about fuzzy grey lines to my mind with a beat that wishes to relinquish regret.
HALLOWEEN
(Verse)
The streams in the smoke
Being cast by the light
Catch the first snow
For brand new eyes
I'm starting to choke
It's Halloween night
The room starts to strobe
As my breathing gets light
(Pre-chorus)
Break your glasses
I think I'm falling for you
But you would do the same
If I was at least an 8
But now I'm standing
On your porch and I'm
Scared to knock, knock, knock
Cause I don't know what I'll say
(Chorus)
Maybe hey
I know we just met yesterday
When you bit my cheek with bloodstained teeth
And drove me insane
And that's okay
I know I come off strong
But I haven't felt this much for somebody
Since last month
(Verse)
With monsters and wolves
And your skin in the blacklight
What's one more mask
Over what I've been trying to hide
Well I guess that I just froze
And I fucked up the night, I
Guess that I was scared
But there's no going back
(Pre-chorus)
Just hearing static
No longer the person that you knew
You don't know what to say
So you can watch me slip away
And fall right back in
A mask, I'm still stuck on Halloween
But when I stop, you're gone
And I dream that you had stayed
(Bridge)
I
Am just the ghost
Of the fire
That got too cold
But I'd haunt you for life
To be here when you cry
And I know I should have said this all
Months before tonight
(Chorus)
But I'll say hey
I know all of the things
I did to make you think
You're not my everything
It's not okay
And I loved you all along
But this albums what I wish I'd said
I'm sorry for the songs
Typing... has induced a smile on my face, this album ends as powerfully as it begins. It houses such a sense of unfettered determination. I find it so inspirational when humans, musical artist especially afford their listeners a level of vulnerability throughout their music. I am actually crying right now because this song took serious balls to write, to be so willing to crawl over broken glass for another human being for them to be a part of your story. The first time I heard this song the presence of April Rose Gabrielli hit me right away. Seriously powerful voices enmeshed within Typing. Listening to this over an over, I am reminded of fast paced Aha’s Take on Me, the feel of warmth and tenacity required within inter and intrapersonal relationships. As the lyrics intensified so did the voices. If you could do me a favour, if you are listening while I write this review in the fashion it has been written, go back and listen from this part where Awakening Autumn and April Rose Gabrielli go NO HOLDS BARD VOCALLY 1:26, listen, can you hear it, slowly the crescendo takes over a call and answer sung in unison. Passion at its highest, stops for half a second and engages the listener again.
TYPING...
(Verse)
Shake the ground
Of your hometowns
Sacred simplicity
A distant luxury
When you never
Stay around
(Chorus)
And when the nights were warmer
I thought
I'd smile forever
With your
Tired face
Next to mine and
Even when you're next to me
I see you in my
(Verse)
Way back south
College towns
Apprehensive ecstasy
Euphoric anxiety
That I'm tumbling
Down
(Chorus ×1)
And as the nights got colder
I made
Every mistake you said you hate
You're counties away
So I can't sleep
And now
This feels just like a dream
(Bridge)
Now our story's
Another floret
Withered up cause
You've outgrown it
Is this story
Forever snowed in-
to last December and
Out of focus
(Chorus ×2)
As your replies got slower
We changed
But the way I feel has stayed the same
You're hours away
Forgot your voice the way
That you forgot my name
And now the nights are cold and
Without you
I just try to freeze myself to death
Empty head
I hoped that you'd text
Instead, you never stopped
Typing
At present I am so grateful to be surrounded by incredible tunes. It is honestly one of my favourite things to pair – music and writing are who I am truly. Life may suck sometimes for you, yes, you reading this article. Awakening Autumn distills with purpose such a pure offering for the ears. I enjoyed every moment of this EP, I think you will too! Oh, and did I forget to mention, today is release day; HAPPY RELEASE DAY TYPING...!
p.s, April, you and Kulick produce killer tracks! GO PEAR GO!
p.p.s. Thank you for allowing me to share your lyrics McKade
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