“doubt” as an entity is GNAB! (BANG out of order!)

I’ve been afforded the opportunity to have a plethora of conversations with women lately; with regards to a current crisis of self-confidence. Why is it the most exceptionally kind individuals always feel a low level of esteem? This past year I learned that I am relentless, and as many times as I have wanted to give up throughout my life — hope prevented me; confidence has always been an issue that I battle with often. As it turns out, I am not alone! When I sit and contemplate these individuals; I wonder why would they feel this way; these are competent, smart, and fierce creatures. The heart of the matter is that regardless of how someone may look on the outside, or feel on the inside, it’s the words and tone that always get me — it’s their internal cogs that are the true essence of who they are. How they manifest the fashion in which they desire to spend their lives. I completely in that moment forgot about intersectionality and how all of us may have similar traits – although we are unique. 

Self-esteem as a child was something that was easily destroyed for me – as a matter of fact it did not rise — until I was on my own with the creation of my family. I remember back in secondary school I wrote this article about self-esteem and bouncing all over the place.  I ended the article with a pretty large emotional velvet bow – now, come to think about it – I wish I had made it seem more like a slap on the face – not a mean I am going to attack you kind of slap but, one of a “wake the hell up” Moonstruck slap. You know the “snap out of it” shock to your system to allow your mind to remain awake?!  I don’t condone physical violence, that’s not what I want to convey.  I want individuals to wake up from the “great disenchantment” as Davide De Angelis would say in his master class.  Something to alert a situation that requires a bit of enlightenment and fight for the souls that occupy our bodies. That is where intersectionality and comprehension entre.  The disenchantment refers to humanity living their best life with a complete awareness of their surroundings.  The manifestation of that level of illumination always brings with it a sense of peace.  A better sense of how we as beings have the capacity to genuinely love — who we are and never second guess that.  It is easier said that done, it is simple to pass judgement and make suggestions – the path toward empathy is greater.  This affords the benefit to watch everyone rise in a manner that is conducive to living their best possible life.

Please explain something to me, why are cores who are strong and generous individuals struggling with a crisis of confidence? Is it COVID? Or was it an issue that was already there, resting right below the surface to manifest? The amplification of extreme issues has made itself quite clear, this will impact human beings for decades to come.  The concept of self care is becoming more necessary, we live in a world that is riddled by instant access – and a little thin brick that we walk around with all day that houses so much knowledge at the tips of our fingers.  And, yet individuals struggle, there is no rhyme or reason to figuring out your place in this world.  I’ve known of my purpose on earth is since the age of 13 and completely denied my roots.  Only recently am I finding out that it is ok to not have all the answers, part of that bloom we flourish along the way.

A crisis of confidence is something that will eventually untwist all the knots in the tapestry that was placed there in times of turmoil.  These knots allow us as beings to appreciate not only moments of solace; but also pure joy, and appreciation.  We are all in limbo currently, and the option falls on us to decide what comes next. It may not always be pleasant however, that is the story of life.

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